The Old Freemen’s ground was the venue of an unlikely fight back as Whiting and Patel spared the HOF’s blushes with an unbeaten 110 run partnership in a true "Dunkerque spirit" rearguard action.

Marcus ‘Angela’ Landsbury joined the HOF’s second XI for the first time on a balmy sunny day at the picturesque Old Freemen’s school. A last minute call up for ‘keeper Patel saved the team the horrors of ‘Captain Clarky’ having to ‘keep (and also saved ‘Captain Clarky’ having to book himself in for a hip replacement the next day).

Woll Hammond lost the toss and HOFs were put in…the field that is, the Ockham boys expecting the baking sun to take its toll on the supremely fit men of HOF’s who in all likelihood had a cumulative waistline of twenty two yards (led by Andy Elburn no doubt).

However, the Ockham boys hadn’t reckoned on the one decent cricketer in the HOF’s ranks as Davis burnt up the pitch with his away swingers and with his first four overs runless the buttercream icing on the proverbial cake was supplied when a snick by Stephenson was taken expertly by Patel, the stand-in ‘keeper. At the other end Angela was bowling a 'Bertie', the fundamental principle bowling Allsorts being if he didn’t know what he was bowling then there was no hope the batsman would either. But Naqvi had a tendency to shuffle across his stumps and this was either expertly sus’d by Angela or as luck would it have the ball hit the leg stump and Ockham were 2 down for not very many.

Davis and Angela kept the scoring down but wickets were hard to come by. When the seemingly huge slogger Allan came out it looked like the big Ockham push was coming but some smart intelligent ‘keeping from Patel (not often that adjective is used in the same sentence as Patel) who decided to stand up to the stumps kept Allan in his crease and he could only lob a simple catch to ‘Alan’ Sunderland at mid-on off Hammonds bowling.

It was all going quite well but then the wheels, if not coming off, started slowly to unwind at the central lock nuts. ‘Captain Clarky’ came on at the Big Tree end and ‘Alan’ Sunderland came on at the Bigger Tree end and while both struggled with line and length Ali Mohammed tucked in albeit with no footwork but with well timed shots and raced towards a 50. In retrospect the one wicket of the rather slow and pondering Mohammed that ‘Captain Clarky’ took was the turning point in the innings as this brought out more big hitters. Despite this wicket ‘Captain Clarky’ struggled to land the ball on the spot, in fact landing the ball at all was a novelty, and as the crowd began to chant "Captain Clarky over there, Don't give the ball so much air" he was pulled and replaced by the rested Davis.

Davis’s first ball caught the edge of the Ockham number 4 and Patel took a sharp low catch to his right. Next over a beauty of a slower ball from Davis accounted for Ali Mohammed on 44 by striking him on the foot right in front of middle stump giving umpire Ridout little doubt and it seemed like HOF’s were gaining the upper hand. However, the Ockham tail was non existent as every batsman that came after was more than capable with the wood and sure enough the Ockham boys marched on towards 200.

Moon came on late in the day and accounted for the Ockham left handed ‘keeper with a ball that swung from wide under the bat to hit the off peg, “the ball swooped, much like a condor plucking a salmon from a stream” was the analogy of the day from Deadeye Deadly Derek Smith (DDDS) fielding somewhere between slip, gully and third man at the same time.

The innings ended with Pilau and Francis taking some suicidal runs, even to the stand-in ‘keeper Patel, who inexplicably missed a sure run out when all he had to do was gently roll the ball to the stumps. In the end a suicide was completed by Francis who ran himself out and Ockham finished on exactly 200 from 45 overs.

After a pretty average tea, what on earth was the fleshy thing passing as ham in the sandwiches? - (this reporter would certainly recommend a change of caterer although the cream cakes went down quite quickly) the HOF’s opening duo of Hufton and Elburn strode out in magnificent sunshine, in the awe inspiring grounds of Old Freemen’s. It seemed like the quintessential British summer moment. It only needed the thwack of willow on leather but somehow that sound did not come in the first over, nor the second, nor the third or the fourth or even the fifth…..

Ockham had a secret weapon…a 20 year old called Cheeseman. Who was helped at the other end with suitably tight bowling. The first 5 overs went by without a single run being scored from the bat in fact extras were 5 and Headley were 5 for 1 when Elburn finally made contact with the bat but rather than clearing the mid on boundary (as he thought!) he barely cleared the square and Mohammed snaffled an easy catch, Cheeseman had his first wicket. The question of why Elburn as an opener was trying to hit a six in the 5th over is still unanswered. The Moon came out, was yorked by an inswinger and came back in, Cheeseman had his second wicket and still no runs had been scored with the bat.

The HOF’s innings had started so disastrously it could only get better…but it didn’t, as the usually watchful Hufton was yorked by an inswinger from Cheeseman and he too trudged back to the pavilion for HOF’s third duck in a row. The dressing room needed a revolving door and the sounds of hurriedly strapped on pads and gloves and frantic searching for other protection seemed like a continuous noise in the pavilion. What HOF’s needed was someone to stem the tidal wave upon which Cheeseman was riding and the youthful Davis seemed like the man for the job but (this report is full of buts) he too fell although he did score 1 run which meant that HOF’s could at least avoid the ignominy of collecting 10 ducks in a row (although a pond full of ducks had already been assembled at the top of the order).

5,6,8,14 and 28. Can you spot the sequence? No, its not a Fibonnaci sequence or the combination to Hufton’s safe, it is the score at the fall of each wicket. When Angela was bowled by an inswinger from....guess who? HOF’s were 5 for 28 and in serious contention of being bowled out for a humiliatingly low score.

Patel had a plan….it was to ask Woll to bat at number 7 so he could watch the innings unfold from the balcony and write the match report in real time – saving valuable zzzz hours later in the day. However the first 5 bats had contrived to foil the plan and so out he strode out to meet Whiting who had looked reasonably comfortable at the non-Cheesman end. Whilst Whiting had recently registered a ton, Patel had spent most of the season on the bench as the first team number 11 or on paternity leave and so form was non-existent – things didn’t look good for HOF’s.

Patel had only two thoughts (which is about the capacity of his brain) number 1: DO NOT GET OUT TO CHEESEMAN….number 2: face as many balls as possible from Cheeseman.. the aim was to block out Cheeseman and protect Whiting even if that meant a 50 ball duck, besides there were only 31 overs to survive and the match would be drawn!

Both Whiting and Patel agreed the HOF’s tail of DDDS, Captain Clarky, Woll H and 'Alan' Sunderland were unlikely to survive the Cheeseman onslaught and decided to use the game as a long practice net.

So began the war of attrition, as Patel batted a yard outside his crease and stepped way forward to negate the swing of Cheeseman, Whiting at the other end kept the likes of Boyce and Allan at bay. The Ockham bowling was very accurate and had the objective been to score runs rather than simply survive, the task would have been mighty tricky. The HOF’s bats were not taking chances, if the ball was there to be hit, it was hit but anything that was less than 100% hittable was fended off. The percentage game had them batting as if this was a test match and Ockham in the process were able to register 14 maidens in the innings (although 7 of those were before the Whiting/Patel partnership came together).

Patel had faced around 20 balls before he got off the mark which reflected not only a lack of match practice but also the accuracy of Cheeseman. Whiting at other end was stroking the ball nicely, and whilst not endangering the Ockham total it was enough to prevent the Ockham fielders surrounding the bat. After a few more overs of Patel fending, Cheeseman was at last running out of steam and a slow short ball signalled the end of his first spell, a minor victory for HOF’s.

With the main threat out of the way the HOF’s batters were able to relax and whilst the rest of the Ockham bowlers toiled they were no match for the resolute and disciplined approach of Whiting/Patel but they were still very accurate.

The overs ticked down and clearly the Ockham fielders were getting despondent as fielding errors and lack of chat showed their appetite for the struggle was waning. Brice came on to try and ‘buy’ a wicket but by now the HOF’s bats could see the finish line and there was no chance of a gifted wicket. Whiting passed the 50 mark by pulling some pies in front of square, whilst Patel fended off the good stuff at the other end but the number of 3’s run was taking it’s toll on Patel’s aging and not match fit (or even fit) body resulting in the “bent over, propped up by bat, gasping for air” stance after every three runs. The quality of Cheeseman’s comeback spell was nowhere near his opening spell and although Patel was seeing it bigger than a beach ball a rare lack of concentration almost resulted in his departure as a late cut whistled at a low but catchable height past the right hand of the man at gully.

Mohammed replaced Brice to buy a wicket and at the other end Pillau and later Francis threw down some average stuff which was deal with expertly by Whiting over the mid-on and mid wicket area – the Ockham skipper having run out of ideas and options which suited the HOF’s bats quite nicely.

In the end Whiting finished unbeaten on 64 and Patel unbeaten on 43 the pair having put on 110 for the 6th wicket taking HOF’s from 28-5 to 138-5. A losing draw but at least HOF’s can take some pride in tact to the next game.

DDDS who had been padded up for 31 overs only had a one word comment “Remarkable”.

During the interval Captain Clarky threatened “If you slag off my bowling again in the match report again I’ll be having you. I’ve never taken so much stick for my performances”

Whiting was unavailable for comment as he was having a crack in his face treated which was created by the huge smile he wore as he walked off the pitch witnessed by his family and latest squeeze.

Later in the pavilion Patel said "Yeah it felt good out there, despite my lack of batting opportunities this season the back foot was moving well and I was easily getting in line with the ball.  I think today I showed what I've been telling the selectors for quite a while; I can do a job for the second team even if it means batting down the order like today.  To be the permanent number 11 for the first team doesn't help me or the club".  He then scuttled off to retirement and to spend more time with his family.